It’s flu season, which means we’re drinking a lot of tea in our house. I just got a new box of that perennial favorite, Celestial Seasonings’ Sleepytime tea — a blend of chamomile and spearmint, with just a hint of lemongrass — and had a startling revelation:

The Sleepytime Bear has gone solo.

You know the bear. He’s adorned the boxes since forever, dozing in a green chair before a raging fire, a cut curled asleep in his lap. He’s wearing a night shirt and a red cap with a ball on it, so you know he’s in for the night. Beside him, on a small table, is a teapot and cup, a few uneaten biscuits and some jam. Makes you sleepy just thinking about.

For a long time you could turn the box over for the next panel — papa bear sleeping in chair while mama bear leads two bear cubs off to bed. She was holding the baby bear while her daughter (well, she’s wearing a dress) has her head turned and her mouth open. “Goodnight, papa!” I used to imagine her saying, while the old man snored on.

Goodnight forever more. Because on the new box the family is missing. Gone. Kaput. And there are a few other alarming developments: the cat, once in papa’s lap, is now on the floor. (Some post-divorce tension, perhaps?) And while the rest of the room appears unchanged, there is now a blue radio and what looks like a still-life of pots and baskets hanging on the wall.

What happened here? Did papa bear trade in the missus for a younger model, who likes listening to racy music on her blue radio? Is she some kind of artist, making bad paintings and hanging them on the wall? Is she out at night, playing the floozy, while hapless mister bear still snoozes in front of the fire?

More alarming, the new Sleepytime Vanilla tea gives us the bear asleep in a hammock, far from the madding crowd, in a pith helmet no less. Did he abscond with office funds (a small matter of an overdraft) and flee to some sunnier clime? Or more unthinkable, kill off his whole den for a little peace & quiet? Dark days, indeed.