Today’s weirdest story has to be that of Oscar-winning songwriter Joseph Brooks who is accused of sexually assaulting at least eleven women who he lured to his East Side apartment. Brooks is 71 years old and looks like your Uncle Moe, if your Uncle Moe wears a raincoat and flashes school children, though at the time of the assaults Brooks was merely in his late sixties and doubtless cut a dashing figure. 

According to the Manhattan DA’s office, Brooks — who won his statue for penning the 1977 Debby Boone hit “You Light Up My Life” — worked with a female accomplice to seduce a series of aspiring chanteuses. They found the women, most from the Pacific Northwest online, using sites such as Craigslist, and then flew them to New York. Oscar was just the closer, according to one of the arresting officers, who said Brooks would brandish it and say, “This could be you, this could be you holding the Oscar. If you just do what I say.” 

The power of the prize is nothing new of course. Phil Spector is finally in prison, convicted of murdering B-movie actress Lana Clarkson after luring her to his mansion in Alhambra, California in 2003. Clarkson had been working as a hostess in the House of Blues in LA while Spector was famous for having invented the Wall of Sound and being mad as a hatter. He was also renowned for pulling guns on people (including musicians he worked with) and bringing young women back to the manse he called Pyrenees Castle. A homicide just waiting to happen! (I would also say beware of any one who has a name for his mansion, especially when he has a hair piece like Phil’s.) 

Brooks, for the record, did not kill anyone. And it’s possible that some of his accusers, such as former American Idol contestant Loretta Spruell will actually benefit from the publicity. Personally, I think the man should have been jailed just for writing “You Light Up My Life” but for the women he wronged I suggest another chestnut, an old Ronnie Milsap song that includes the lines: “If they gave gold statuettes/for tears and regrets/I’d be a legend in my time.”