One of the best things about watching the Olympics is how we all become experts in sports we know absolutely nothing about. “She added all those elements to her routine and totally stuck her dismount and you gave her a 14.8?!” That and those Chinese girls who they swear are 16 — according to who? Roman Polanski?

But the Olympics are also supposed to be a time to set political differences aside. Which is why the Russians waited until opening day to invade Georgia. To his credit, Bush expressed his displeasure forcefully, and in person (does he still see Putin’s soul in his eyes? is it starting to look like that picture of Dorian Gray?) and took a few opportunities to publicly criticize the Chinese, too. Did you see his interview with Bob Costas? That’s about the most relaxed and articulate I’ve ever seen the president. The prospect of unemployment must agree with him. That and the wall-to-wall sports. 

There was a touching moment when the Georgian and Russian women who medaled in an air-pistol event exchanged kisses, with Georgian Nino Salukvadze saying, “We shouldn’t stoop so low to wage wars against each other.” (You didn’t see it because it was an air-pistol event, which as a TV sport is right up there with snipe hunting.) While the press focused on the silver and bronze winners sharing a moment on the podium, I couldn’t help but notice the Chinese winner in the middle, waving her medal: “Peaceable kingdom, shee-it — I got the gold, bitches!”

But the most touching example of international diplomacy came last night, when the US swim relay team beat the French (a statistical improbability like unto finding water on Mars, according to the NBC color man) and then brayed like big time wrestlers while the French closer actually cried. Not that there is anything wrong with crying, or being French. But this frog had actually had the temerity to say they would “smash” the US team. Sorry, Frenchy. We’re the smashers here. Just ask The Decider, or his friend, Old Soul Eyes.