The brouhaha at the New School University, in which faculty representing all the school’s colleges have given our president Bob Kerrey repeated votes of no confidence, culminated in a meeting held yesterday at Lang’s Tishman Auditorium. The former US Senator and occasional presidential candidate called the meeting himself but did not, as I predicted, stand behind a podium and challenge the assembled professors to throw shoes at him. 

The meeting began inauspiciously when NSSR professor of philosophy Richard Bernstein, who was moderating, asked those scattered throughout the auditorium to move forward — and no one did. “Well that worked,” cracked Kerrey, before launching into a mea culpa concerning recent events. While he did not apologize for, or explain, the departure of our most recent provost, Joe Westphal, he did regret suggesting that he himself would handle the job until a replacement was found, and copped to pouring gas on the fire of Kerrey hatred that has burned out of control since Westphal’s sudden departure. 

“I’ve said a number of things to the press that have not been helpful,” the president said, including his claim that the faculty was resistant to the change he was trying to bring to the school. Then it was the faculty’s turn. 

“This faculty craves change,” NSGS’s Robert Polito said, speaking for the record into one of two mikes that had been placed in either aisle, but with the departure of the fifth provost in Kerrey’s eight-year tenure there they had seen change “atomized.”

For the most part, Kerrey stood stoically, crossing and uncrossing his arms as the majority of speakers tried to find new ways to say how little they trusted him. What seemed to annoy people most was his assertion that he wasn’t going anywhere. “Assuming you get away with this,” one professor seethed, referring to Kerrey’s determination to stay and work things out, “you will just drive out the next provost and we will hit you with everything we’ve got.”

Next time try shoes.